


A Single Decent Scrap Of Humanity

by Anthy_FalloutGirl (Anatheia)



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/F, Nightmares, Vaginal Fingering, cuteness, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 21:37:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7405780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anatheia/pseuds/Anthy_FalloutGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even clean and sober, Cait's still certain she's just another piece of wasteland trash.  Nora thinks she's wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Single Decent Scrap Of Humanity

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the third in a not-a-series of Fallout's Companions. The previous entries, 'One Hell of a Friend' and 'The Milk of Human Kindness' went over quite well, so I tried my hand at a bit of girl-on-girl.

She hadn't realized how much a person could actually care for someone else. It was an alien concept; to care for anyone. Always put yourself first. It's how she'd lived for so long, she was shocked to see that there was any other way to do it.

Everything had a price. But Nora didn't care about that.

Cait thought she was crazy. But if some God other than Atom was listening, she was greatful for her crazy friend.

Cait was one of those things that Nora did care about. She hadn't realized it, of course, until she'd broken free of her addiction to Psycho. Everything was clearer after that.

 

 

It had started simply enough. Cait's first night had been exhausting. Her body ached, and she felt half starved. She damn near ate a whole Molerat herself, much to Nora's pleasure. Her body needed the calories, to help her recover from whatever that chair had done to her. 

There was no more coughing, no more blood. 

Her insides felt strange, and then she realized that it was the lack of pain. It felt so good, to have a healthy body. It was like a drug, all on it's own. She'd even managed to sleep the whole night through, for the first time in years.

 

 

They'd hiked their asses back to Diamond City, and when Cait had come back to their shared room at the Dugout Inn with a bottle of Bobrov's best from Vadim, Nora had sighed, and insisted they would share, and she would pour. 

Cait had agreed, and they'd gotten pleasingly trashed, laughing about something Hancock had said, or the way Danse kept trying to bribe Dogmeat with treats for affection. Her second night had gone okay too.

 

 

It was that third night, at the Dugout, when they'd spent the evening drinking with Piper and listening to Nick Valentine talk about some of his crazier cases, it was that night the Nightmares had come back.  It was just flashes, but she knew them so well. The feeling of hands, squeezing, pulling her body. That sensation of hands around her throat, or fisted in her hair.

She woke up, and scrambled over Nora, to throw up on the floor. 

She had lied to her worried friend, and told her it was the booze. Her new guts were protesting the harsh treatment. Nora insisted she drink less. Cait had just nodded, and let the woman get her a cold cloth for her forehead. Every time she felt the nightmares returning, she'd half wake as a hand slid into hers, and a cool hand would touch her cheek, her forehead, and chase the nightmares back again.

 

 

Nora insisted she see Doctor Sun, and the man had indulged her, making Cait take a bottle of Addictol with her when she left. Cait took the pills, but slowed as she passed Chem-I-Care, eyeballing hypos of Psycho and inhalers of Jet. When she approached, the man in the cap shook his head.

"No can do! Blue made me promise I wouldn't sell you anything but rad-away and stimpaks." He shrugged helplessly. 

"I could break yer nose, you know that, right?" He nodded, and just shrugged again.

"Sorry, Cait. She's scarier than you are. You know she hangs out with a supermutant, right?" Cait rolled her eyes. Fucking Strong. She gave the guy the finger, and went back to the Dugout with her handful of Addictol.

 

 

That was the night when the Nightmares came full force. 

She woke with half a scream, and buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking as she fought to keep it all inside. A gentle arm around her shoulders, and Nora was pulling her close, smoothing her hair, whispering soft, reassuring things she couldn't understand. 

Cait clung to Nora and cried. It was like that, every night. Cait would wake, and Nora would hold her, until she fell back asleep. Cait loved her for it, and hated herself. Nora looked exhausted every morning. When they left Diamond City, Nora decided that they would go to Sanctuary Hills. Nora's house was her own; no one used it except for her. 

There would be no one to disturb but her when Cait woke, screaming and crying. 

They spent a single night on the road, and Cait took first watch. She let Nora sleep until she couldn't keep her eyes open a second longer. Being exhausted seemed to be the key to sleeping too deeply to dream. It worked, mostly. When her nightmares pushed her to consciousness, it was daylight. She went with it, and got up to help Nora make breakfast.

 

 

Sanctuary Hills provided lots of tasks to exhaust Cait. There was always something to fix, or build, or plant, or harvest, or cook. When she'd headed for the barracks, Nora caught her arm, and nodded towards her house. Cait was relieved; she didn't want to sleep alone. She was terrified to sleep alone.

If Nora took off with MacCready or Danse or just the damn dog, Cait would have to sleep alone, and the thought of it made her feel sick to her stomach.

 

 

When she got into the bed, the lamp in the hallway casting a faint glow into the room where Nora had slept with her husband two hundred years before, Nora had surprised her by curling against her back, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"W-what're you up to then?!" Cait flirted with Nora, but she flirted with Danse, too, and mostly in jest. Nora shrugged a little, her breasts pressed against Cait's back through the thin tank top she wore.

"Well, I thought maybe if you fell asleep with me holding you, the nightmares wouldn't start. It's worth a try, right?" It did make sense, so Cait nodded, and tried to settle into sleep with the smaller woman curled around her.

Cait slept, but when she jerked out of sleep just before the dream knife could plunge into her mother's flesh, she felt an arm tighten around her waist, and Nora's soft voice in her ear.

"Just a dream, Cait...go back to sleep." It was a sleepy murmur, and Cait nodded wordlessly in reply. But her hand covered Nora's on her stomach for a moment, then she tucked it under the pillow and forced herself back to sleep.

 

 

By day, Cait helped Nora and Preston set up defenses. People often wandered over, to ask Nora for things, and when she left Cait with Preston for the dozenth time, she rolled her eyes.

"These people can't do a damn thing without her to hold their hands." Preston looked up from the turret he was assembling from Nora's careful scavenging.

"She gives them hope. Sometimes, people need a reassuring pat on the back. I'd think you would understand that." Cait flushed.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Preston held up his hands in surrender.

"I patrol at night. Sometimes, when I'm passing Nora's place, I hear you." He shrugged a little. 

"We ain't doin' anything! I just...have nightmares. Bad ones. Used to be the Psycho kept 'em at bay...well, now I got no walls between me and them...just her. Knowin' it's just a dream." He put a hand on her shoulder.

"You've had a hell of a rough life, Cait. Besides...Nora told me once that her husband had nightmares too. She's probably the best person to help you." Cait nodded, surprised. She hadn't known about Nate's nightmares. No wonder Nora could practically soothe her in her sleep. She had practice.

 

 

Nora was getting ready for bed when Cait finally brought it up.

"Hey...can we...talk a sec?" Nora looked up, her vaultsuit half unzipped as she paused to take her boots off.

"Of course, Cait. What's up?" Cait swallowed. She had a million things to say, and not an ounce of courage to say them.

"Preston said...ya told 'im yer husband had nightmares." That was the easy one. Start easy. Nora nodded, and sat down on the edge of the bed, tucking her hair behind her ear absently. 

 

 

"Nate was on the front lines when we were first married. I was still in law school when his convoy was hit by the Reds with a missile. He took a pretty serious head wound, but the docs patched him up, and sent him right back out. Then he survived losing another squad...and then another." She didn't look at Cait, but rather she swept some fleck of dirt off the ancient blanket, as if that would somehow improve the look. It was just something to do while she remembered.

"He finally got pulled off the front lines, and they gave him a desk job. The first time he woke me up, he damn near flipped the bed. I'd hear him, saying a list of names sometimes, staring off at nothing. Nate...Nate had pretty serious PTSD and Survivor's Guilt." Nora looked up, and smiled a little.

"I think, in a way...I'm glad it was Nate that Kellogg killed, and not me. He wouldn't have been able to bear the pain...losing all his men, losing the world, losing me..and losing Shaun, too. This awful world would have chewed up his gentle soul until there was nothing left." Cait took a seat beside her on the bed.

 

 

"Bit of a blessing in disguise for him, I suppose. Blessing for me, too. Without you...I'd be one more dead junkie by now." Nora surprised Cait by lifting an arm, and pulling her into a hug. 

"You're stronger than you think you are, Cait. I know you can get through this...and I'll be here for you if you need me." Wonderful, caring Nora. Cait let her head rest on Nora's shoulder for a moment.

"The longer we spend time together...the more I'm beginnin' to realize what you mean to me. And...I'm not just talkin' about you watchin' me back or sharin' a drink together, I mean more than that." Cait swallowed a little, and Nora's arm slipped from her shoulder, gently rubbing her arm.

"Before we met, I'd never let my guard down with...anyone. I didn't dare." She'd trusted her parents. After them, she hadn't trusted anyone ever again. Until Nora.

"But with you...I feel like I can let you in and see me for everythin' that I am...for better, or for worse. Nora, I...I can't go back to the way things were before we met--I won't." The words were getting harder to choke out, but she couldn't have stopped them, not now that the flow had begun. She lifted her head, and met Nora's pretty green eyes, with her dark lashes and worried brows.

 

 

"I just need you to...look me in the eyes and tell me...you feel something too."

Her mouth was suddenly dry, and she wanted a beer to wet it. Then another, to start a river of beer so she could drown herself for being so childish and stupid.

But she had to know.

She needed to hear it, and know that it was true, because Nora would never ever lie to her, and she knew that in her freshly healed guts.

Nora's furrowed brows raised, and her cheeks turned pink, and she looked down, almost shyly. She licked her lips a little, then lifted her gaze, and met Cait's eyes.

 

 

"Of course I do...I'm in love with you, Cait." She said it so softly that Cait almost thought it was a hallucination, a trick of the Psycho. But she'd been sober for days. The words were confusing, and she actually frowned.

"I...I knew I felt something between us, but--I--Why? Why would you fall in love with someone as screwed up as I am?" Cait was genuinely bewildered. 

She'd thought Nora might say she thought of Cait as a sister, or a best friend, but love?

That wasn't something that belonged in a life like Cait's. Women like her...no one loved them. She was just there to be used and tossed aside, because she didn't deserve anything better.

Not after what she'd done.

 

 

  
Nora's hand, softer than any hand but a child's could be in the Wasteland, came up to rest on Cait's cheek.

  
"Becase you're special to me, Cait...and I don't think I'd be happier with anyone else." Her words were soft, a murmur, but she might as well have said it in Curie's french for all Cait understood her, the shock was so great.

"You...you really mean that." It wasn't a question, but Nora nodded a little, and as Cait processed the gesture, the pre-war lawyer leaned forward. 

Her lips brushed Cait's, just a feather light and hesitant kiss. It almost made the Irishwoman shiver, and she leaned into the soft kiss, returning it. Nora's hand moved from her cheek, to gently rest at the back of Cait's neck. The warmth of her hand was like fire against her skin, and had the surprising effect of inspiring a warm ache between Cait's legs.

 

 

The fighter lifted a hand, and buried it in Nora's shoulder length hair, and a sigh escaped her as Nora's lips parted. Cait realized as they kissed that Nora was hesitating a little, and was terrified she'd done the wrong thing. She broke the kiss, face red, and groaned, scrubbing her hands across her face.

"Ah, shit! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to--" Nora's soft hand was on her cheek again, and she made Cait look at her, cheeks pink, lips still moist from their kiss.

"I didn't hesitate because I was kissing you, Cait...I'm...not exactly pro at this either...I...had a husband, remember?" She was flustered, and Cait could have passed out in relief. Nora was hesitant because she'd never been with another woman. 

And why would she have been? 

 

 

Cait had been inside Vault 111. She'd seen Nora's husband, Nate. The man had been worth a second look in life, probably a third.

"It weren't okay to love girls then? Were you hiding it?" She wondered at the strength that would have taken. Nora blushed, and shook her head.

"I was never attracted to women. I was attracted to...people. I loved Nate...and now...I love you. It wouldn't matter if you were male, or female--" Nora smiled a little, shrugging.

"--Or even a Synth. I'd still love you, Cait."

Cait thought Nora was going to pass out from all the blushing the other woman was doing.

 

 

  
"I'm no stranger to bein' with a person, male or female. Not very often though, that I...actually wanted to be with anybody. Never...anybody I cared about. Or cared about me." Nora looked sad, and sighed a little, her hands coming up to cup Cait's face as she leaned close and gave her a firm kiss on the mouth, with no hesitation at all.

  
There was something more than desire in the kiss; more than lust. There was love in it, and Cait could feel it more than she had felt anything when she was high. That ache between her legs and the heat in her skin grew almost unbearable as Nora's lips parted, and Cait's tongue dove in, exploring that sweet, soft mouth. 

The vault dweller made a sound, soft and pleading, and Cait's hand came up to clutch her curls in one hand, her cheek in the other. One of Nora's hands laid atop hers on her cheek, and then slowly guided the hand down her bare throat. Cait's fingertips found the steel toggle of the zipper, and she slid it down slowly, over the swell of Nora's breasts, down her stomach past her navel.

Nora's hands went to the shoulders of her suit, but Cait gripped her hands lightly, stilling them as she leaned into the other woman, pushing her gently back on the bed, her feet still on the floor, but her body stretched out beneath Cait's, one foot on the floor, her knee on the bed as her body straddled one of Nora's strong legs. She had the smaller woman pinned gently, leaning down to kiss her mouth hungrily. Nora inhaled shakily, and squeezed Cait's leg a little between her own. Cait's mouth moved downwards, over the curve of her jaw, the softness of her throat, down to the valley between her breasts.

 

 

"Cait--" Nora breathed her name, a whisper and a moan tied together, her back arching a little. Cait grinned, her tongue teasing just along the soft curve of her white, prewar bra. Nora shifted the leg that Cait was straddling, grinding it against her ass a little.

"You've got a bit of a naughty streak, haven't you?" she whispered the words against Nora's throat, and as the woman replied, Cait nibbled her earlobe a little. 

"Um. Maybe?" Nora was breathless, half shy. 

Cait lifted her head a little, looking at Nora for a long moment.

"D'you want me to stop?" Nora flushed, gazing up at her, and shook her head a little.

 

 

"I'm just...glad...that one of us...know what we're doing." That cute little blush again, looking at Cait through her dark lashes.

"So y'don't mind if I...take the lead, then? Gotta say...this...works better for me. I'm usually...gettin' held down, if y'take my meaning." Nora lifted her head, and kissed her softly, sucking on her bottom lip a little before she let her head fall back to the blankets.

"I'm absolutely okay with that." She was solemn, but then gave a very tiny smile.

"I'm so bossy out there...it's...nice not to be the boss once in a while, you know?" she said it lightly, and Cait laughed against her throat, before leaning back a little, but only so she could pull Nora's body up, allowing her to slide the vault suit over Nora's shoulders at last. 

She kissed across the woman's clavicle as Nora got her arms out of the suit, bared down to her waist but for that little bra. Cait gently pushed her backwards, then slid off the bed, peeling the suit down Nora's legs, letting it fall onto the floor in a heap. Cait had already been changed; she slept in a baggy mens tee and a pair of cut off plaid shorts, so she didnt' have belts or corset lacing to fight with.

Nora's leg shifted, and she felt the woman's calf slide up hers as she took the woman in with her eyes.

 

 

There were stretch marks from having had a baby, but no loose skin; Nora had been fighting and eating like a Wastelander for long enough that any of that baby weight had long since gone. Her breasts were still large and plump, skin fair and soft.

"I never seen skin so pale on a body before. Was everybody as fair as you?" Cait simply meant the complexion, but Nora blushed. Fair could mean other things.

"There weren't as many natural beauties then as there are now. Everything was hidden away under a coat of paint. I just got lucky with good genes." she shrugged helplessly, and Cait rolled her eyes.

"God gives to some with both hands." she said dryly, and Nora sat up a little, catching the hem of her nightshirt, and giving her a firm pull towards her.

 

 

Cait had to choose whether to fall on her or crawl onto the bed over her thighs, so she did the latter, and was genuinely surprised when Nora's hands came up, tangling in her hair, pulling her down for a kiss. The kiss was possessive almost, and Cait couldn't help but make a small sound of surrender.

"I'm just lucky he let me keep you. If you'd...I don't know what I'd do." Nora's gaze was distant and haunted for a moment, a rare glimpse of the pain of losing the world she'd known. Then she was back, and she smiled a little, almost wryly.

"Probably declare a war on Drugs in the Commonwealth. I'd have to finally get rid of Hancock." It was a joke, and it made Cait laugh. 

"Fucker. He'd deserve it, pinching my ass all the goddamn time."

"He likes you!" Cait snorted.

"Well, you can tell 'im I'm already with somebody."

Nora blushed again, and Cait felt her soft hands on her bare sides, gliding unflinchingly over healing track marks and ancient battle scars alike. Cait kissed her, and she felt those soft thumbs stroke along the bottom curve of her breasts, curling up to tease across her sensitive nipples. She lowered herself a little, almost into Nora's lap, feeling just as possessive of her newly declared love.

 

 

Cait savored the attention until she was aching for more, and leaned back, tugging her shirt off, letting it fall to the floor with Nora's vault suit. Nora's back curved, and she reached behind herself, unfastening her bra. Cait peeled it off her with a smirk, and let it fall too. 

Unlike Nora's tiny panties, Cait went 'commando' under her shorts, so they were both naked in short order. They stood there, kissing and touching each other in the dim light from the hallway oil lamp, until Nora suddenly shivered. Cait gave her a confused frown, and Nora looked over her shoulder. 

"Yeah...my ass is kinda freezing. Apparently I am bad at patching holes in walls." she sighed, and Cait laughed, giving Nora a light shove onto the bed, crawling over her and gave her a teasing kiss. 

"Better hope Preston's done makin' his rounds." Nora's face flooded pink, and she groaned, burying her face in her hands with a groan.

"Oh my god, I didn't even think about that! What if he hears us??" Cait drew away a little.

"D'you...not...want people to know? About you...and me?" Nora's hands jerked off her face, and her blush vanished. She gripped Cait's shoulders, and shook her head.

 

 

"No! Not at all! I'll hold your hand at breakfast if you want to! I'm not ashamed to be with you--I just...don't want Preston to hear us--" She blushed deeply, and Cait smirked, leaning down until her mouth was next to her ear.

"You don't want Preston to hear us...fucking?"

She'd said the word a million times in front of Nora, though never meaning it in the way she meant now. Nora's breath caught, and Cait could almost hear her pulse pounding in her throat.

"Yes...that. We should. Do that. Now, I mean. The fucking thing. But like...quietly."

The words came out almost strangled, and Cait laughed in surprise.

 

 

"Well, aren't you a demanding little thing." She slid down Nora's body, her mouth teasing one of those rosy nipples as her strong fingers, broken and healed again and again, slid between Nora's legs. The dark curls were already moist, and as she teased a fingertip along the slick line between Nora's nether lips, the woman whimpered almost, fingertips tightening in Cait's auburn hair.

"Cait--!" A gasped, pleading whisper. She really didn't want Preston to hear them. Cait kind of thought she did want him to hear. 

It felt somehow like a point of pride. But her pride wasn't worth embarrassing Nora in front of her Soldiers. 

She would be quiet.

Nora was on her own in that department.

 

 

Her fingertip pressed a little, sliding between the silky folds, stroking the length before circling that tiny nub of nerves and gliding back down. Nora's hips bucked against her hand, and Cait obliged her by slipping a fingertip just a little inside, and Nora whimpered in pleasure. 

Cait was smirking against Nora's breast as she slowly moved that single finger, making her lover squirm. She added a second finger, and her strong hand moved a little faster, in and out, her eyes devouring the sight of Nora's pleasure. 

She'd never watched someone else enjoy themselves this way before. Because they wanted her, and her touch aroused them, not because it was a touch, but because it was hers. She was wet, and ached for it, but this was something she wanted to be selfish about. Sex had always been about pretending her partner wasn't even there. Not this time.

She needed to see it. 

To really know in her heart it was true. 

Nora loved her.

 

 

The woman was slick beneath her fingertips, and Cait couldn't help but make a satisfied sound as Nora's soft hands found her breasts, caressing her nipples in a pleasing fashion, light and teasing, rather than the bruising touches she'd endured in the past. 

As if Nora knew that Cait herself only knew 'rough', but what she needed was 'gentle'.

Cait let her teeth scrape lightly against one of her lover's nipples, and the way that Nora writhed against her made her think Nora didn't mind a little 'rough'. She did it again, and the little moan made her grin against her soft skin.

"I'm gonna--Ahh!" Her back curved, and she pulled Cait's mouth up to hers, kissing her passionately. 

Cait moaned into the kiss, and suddenly, she was on her back, and Nora was above her, their bodies pressed tightly together as she held Cait close and sighed.

"Happy now?" Cait blinked as the woman smiled at her playfully.

"Me? You're the one who got off, remember? Are you happy?" She had to turn the question around. She was afraid to answer it because she didn't think she should be. Cait didn't deserve that kind of happy ending.

"With you? Yes. With us? Very."

 

 

Nora's hand slid between Cait's legs, stroking her ever so gently. She lifted a brow, clearly waiting for Cait to answer her before she planned to do much more. Cait flushed, and looked away. 

Nora drew back a little, a hurt look flashing across her features for a moment. 

"With you? Yes. A million of 'em. With me?" Cait shrugged helplessly, and Nora sighed, kissing her softly.

"Cait, you've been clean for barely a couple of weeks. Moving on...takes time...so does earning forgiveness...even if you're only earning it from yourself." Cait sighed a little.

"When you say it, it sounds so simple. But then--" She looked away. Nora caught her chin, and made Cait meet her eyes.

"Do you trust me, Cait?" She gave a silent nod. Nora smiled, and kissed her lovingly.

"Then listen to me. When the little voice inside says something...imagine what I would say to you instead, and listen to that. Trust in me...and just keep being the person that I love...and you'll get there."

 

 

  
Cait hugged Nora tightly around the waist, burying her face in her shoulder the way she would when Nora woke her from a nightmare.

"I love you." She managed to whisper the words, and she felt Nora smile against her forehead, kissing her gently.

"I love you back, Cait."


End file.
